Rest now, my sweet angel

It was on the 9th of Oct when I first saw you.
You were so small at your age. Thin and pale. Your body looks so fragile So I did not attempt to hold you nor come close to you. I learned that it was all because of a heart and lung problem.

From afar I just looked at you. Your body, your face, your eyes. Those eyes were like of your Dad. And from then on, I felt a leap in my heart. You are truely a part of the family.

And so the days pass and as usual, I went to my daily errands.
I seldom saw you but each morning i hear your cries.
When I'm home, i got the chance to stare at you longer, but still from afar. I didn't have the courage to carry you. I didn't care that much.

But you win my heart despite of me trying to snub you. Then I realized I'm buying you things one at a time. Baby booties, baby dresses, nail clipper. I was even excited to buy you stuff....loads of 'em. I was planning to give you that stroller for Christmas so we can stroll all day long at the mall.
I even demand that you call me "Tita Pretty". It was so cute when you stare at me while your Mom tells you..."Don't cry, magagalit si Tita Pretty". Then you stopped when our eyes met.

Then one day i heard the news when I was still at work.
Your condition became serious. I rushed to the hospital to checked on you.
My heart crashed when I saw you there lying on the bed with needles and tubes. Grasping for breath. Fighting for life. But i have to put a strong and brave face....for you Mom....for you Dad.

And finally, i had that chance to hold you coz your Mom had to tend on the paper works.
Your hands locked on my finger. It was an amazing feeling. I wanted to cry but hold back the tears. Each cry you made torn my heart. Each grasp for breath choked my throat. That time, I can feel your pain.
The Lord knows how I wept and beg for your recovery. How i bargain just to extend your life with us.

I decided not to see and visit you at the hospital today for I no longer can stand to see your agony. It send me shivers imagining your state through SMS updates I got from your parents...And like a candle your light slowly fade says your Dad.

I don't want to lose hope. I put my trust in the Lord. He created you and gave you life. Only him can take it back...God know's what is best for you. Thy will be done. I prayed and prayed from the time you were admitted until today. True enough He heard my plea. To spare you from all the pain and suffering your tiny body can stand no more. He ended it, just like blowing out a candle's light. You were 4 months old. Your light stopped to shine. Just like that.

And just like that, my dreams of us together....shopping...Christmas....your baptismal....your 1st birthday....all possible bonding moments....all gone. Though sad and in tears now, I have to accept it. We have to accept the truth.

Thank you sweety for visiting us. Thank you for your two-week stay at our house. You brought smile to us. You added light and colors to our lives. You make our house a home.
Our time together maybe too short but it was worth while. That less than 30 minutes of tending you, holding your tiny hands, telling you that all will be fine....were memories I wont ever forget.

Mamita and Lolo, along with your Tito's will missed you dearly. You will always be engraved in your Mom and Dad's heart forever.

Bring my kisses and my hugs as you go there in heaven to meet the Father.

I love you Baby.

- Tita Pretty