I Can't

It's been ages since the last time we've seen each other. To be honest, I actually plan to shut down our communication for good. To end the string that attached us since the first day I learned about you. To consider you as part of my past. To let go and simply move on.

But I can't. I simply CAN'T. You are too much of a treasure to throw away. You are the extension of my thoughts since 2005. And by next month, April 2010, we will be celebrating our anniversary. We should be right?

You are the witness to all my emotions. You know how it was and how it is about me. You know me too well and has been so good to me. Standing beside me. Patiently waiting for me to come to you. Eagerly listening to all my sentiments, my nonsense blah blahs and demented thoughts. You are so trusty worthy to help me conceal from my real pain and sorrows. But was so proud for every milestone, every joyful moment I had. Shouting to the world my accomplishments or simple joys.

I was a fool once when I attempted to replace you. I admit, I found you boring that's why I looked around and consider others. You had your days when you were totally hard to manage. But I guess that's not a valid reason for me to ignore you.
I was entertained by what others offered. I even stay awake so late at night just to be with them. But i realized, i still need you.

I will be totally insane to let you go.

No!!! I don't have the guts to close our relationship. Nor do i have the courage to see you go just like that. I will stay. I will still come back to you no matter what.
You may not see or hear from me often but believe me, I am just around the corner. Busy on whatever it is that eats me. I am and forever will be there just like the old times.


I promise to write you as long as I can. Until my fingers ache because of old age. Or until internet life is ticking.

We are one. You and me.....Me and my blogspot.

Love
the blogger a.k.a Jhan



x-o-x-o

Breathe

I want to scream through words how happy I was a while ago...
Now, I want to sealed my lips and tied these fingers not to reveal how sad I am right now...
Such a sudden twist of emotions...just like that...yes, just like that...

A blink of an eye. One snap. That's it.

How coward, how stupid, how obscure, how immature, how ironic...
Confusing, futile.

The paradox of my insanity...

Hope I will soon be free from this temporary insanity...
Hope the soon be sooner...

Wednesday

So odd.

I am odd.

I am not in the mood AGAIN.

Hhmmmm, under the weather?

Or another day of Topak mode?....

Silly.

Yes! Maybe :-(

Tuesday

Whenever Tuesday comes, I am always looking for something peculiar to happen.

I don't know....it's just that for me Tuesday is SOMETHING!

I start my day greeting the sun, with a sweet smile while thanking HIM for his blessings.

Tonight, the sun was out. He is now shining on the other face of mother earth.

Geeeezzzz...i dont know what I am thinking right now at this very minute. No particular thoughts to share, no actual emotions to reveal. (sigh) maybe i just missed blogging. :P

Letting my fingers run over this keyboard as it goes klik-ka-tik-tak [space] - [mouse-scroll] - [space] [enter] ....

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

This is starting to be a shit entry.... I am signing off!